Lesson 17


Sharing the Wealth


The Notion of being BIGin Belief


In writing this book about confidence, I realize I have probably left out so much that I wanted to say, but if I did, I will write the sequel and put the rest of it in the follow up edition!  But the most important part of this book is that I have saved the best for last.  If you have read all of my work this far, there is better stuff just ahead.  What I mean to say is that we are always addressing the literature for what has been studied, researched, tested, retested and what do we come up with in the end?   Quite simply, it is that confidence is a great attribute to have.

I think we all can agree that confidence, self-efficacy and trust are all vital components that strengthen and enhance the human experience. Perhaps nothing is more satisfying than to step up to the plate in baseball or tee up a ball in golf knowing that you are going to hit the ball long and straight either out of the park or down the middle of the fairway!  Or perhaps you are discussing a new proposal for a new business venture of yours and you ace the presentation for your investors!  What a great feeling!

The examples can go on and on, but the bottom line is that we love to have the feelings of being confident and in control of our own performance.  Even when we are part of a winning team, either in the office or on the playing field, each member has contributed in some small way to the execution of a victorious game plan.  We can all bask in the warm glow of doing a job well done. But is the victory really worth the personal investment?  Do we really get a return for the effort filled days, weeks and perhaps months and years of sweat and toil to build our self-confidence to attain the things we said we wanted?

What I am saying here is that it is not easy to be big in belief.  In truth, it’s damn hard.  Yes, it’s true that winning and being confident is what this book is all about. But there is another side to the story.  A few of the people that I have worked with really liked the idea of wanting to be great and develop confidence, but as they strived, they also struggled.  With the brutal reality of their struggling they found out that they really didn’t want it as much as they said they did. They merely liked the idea of wanting to be great.  Just wanting to be great and grow in your belief isn’t enough sometimes.  We have an entire world filled with wannabes and should-have-beens that got beaten down along their way to the path of glory. For them, it was just easier to walk away and lick their wounds.

That is the broom closet secret of wanting to be successful that no one tells you about.  It is something that you have to want and want more than anything else in the world, if you truly want to find out how great you can be.  Confidence is a huge part of that entire process.  Without confidence and all of its accompaniments, then I don’t think you have much of a chance to getting to where you want to go. But that is the reality.  I stated early on in the book that you can have anything you want…… if you really want it bad enough.  But what most wannabes find out that they didn’t either want it bad enough or simply got beaten down in the quest for their personal achievement.

As I have stated before, if you don’t believe in yourself from the outset, everything you do from that point on is in the middle of the word believe……it is just a lie.  That is why I have never been fond of the phrase “fake it til you make it” because I know via trial and error experience, research and thousands of case studies, that in order to become truly confident, it is much more than just going through the motions and trying to fake or act your way to being confident…..you have to do the things you fear and do the things you really don’t like to do.  You have to learn how to appreciate the falling down and love the getting back up.  I love the saying: “seven times knocked down….eight times back up”.

In a nutshell, you have to be bigger than your fear and smarter than your doubt. Doubt and negativity will always be around you and trying to hold you back and knock you down.  Even in the land down under, in Australia, the people who envy the successful folks call them “tall poppies” and are always trying to cut them down.  Why? Because the “wannabes” cannot elevate themselves in an upward direction and it is easier to make fun of them and cut others down to bring them to their level. That is why you must always fight for your belief and your confidence.  Because in the end, no one’s opinion of yourself matters more than your own. You are the master of your domain! Building, developing and maintaining your confidence is the mortar for your success!  The people who promote anything else and tell you that isn’t the truth are the real imposters, the fakers and the charlatans.

This is the primary reason that I have written this book.  I wanted to give you a road map to guide you through the land mines of self-doubt and negativity and into your personal victory lane.  And to this end, no matter what field or endeavor that you may pursue, the thoughts and strategies within this book will serve you well.   Follow the advice and do the exercises at the end of each section and you will find that you are building a great foundation for long-term enduring confidence!  But if you want a quick review for success, take a look at the following “quick reference guide to building and creating confidence”.  I call it the Ten Commandments of Building Confidence.  It is a brief compilation of everything you have found in this book.  I think you’ll like it.

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