Digging Deep into the Mine
If we use the young golfer as an example of someone who didn’t know what they were looking for in regards to a perfect swing, we can also use that example to help us find out exactly what we are looking for in terms of self-assurance and confidence! So many times, we are often faced with situations and events that are out of our control and we don’t know where to turn. By tuning into our self-awareness about what it is we want and don’t want can oftentimes lead us to answers to our questions and worries.
The following is a little exercise to reflect on what you would like to feel and what you want to move away from in terms of doubt, worry and personal frustration.
*Answer these questions to the best of your ability:
What is something that you do in your life that gives you a feeling of personal happiness and joy? How would you describe it?
Have you ever felt this way before? If so, when did this occur?
What is it that promotes pain and frustration in your life?
Have you felt this way recently? Is so, what was the triggering effect or situation that caused this feeling?
Regarding the answers that you have written above, what in particular was the strongest feeling or reaction that you had when you were writing your answer down?
( +) If it was a positive feeling, can you replicate or create that feeling again? What prevents you from doing this?
( – ) If the feeling was a negative feeling, are you able to move away from this feeling or change your mind set at will? If not, how long does this feeling persist? Is it something that you would like to change?
Taking a Mental Time Out
The previous exercises are to promote you in going back into your memory bank and pull out positive and negative experiences. Your memory is where we store all of our hopes, dreams, aspirations and accomplishments up to this point in time. Your memory is also where fear resides and the buildup of failed goals and personal stumbles. The important thing we need to glean from this exercise is that those things that bring us happiness can be identified and strengthened. Also, by recognizing the dark events in our life, we can learn to make the adjustments and strengthen our resolve to not go that path again. But taking stock of where we are currently will serve us later when we put all of our thoughts together to create our personal confidence action plan. Let us continue our quest!
- Putting it together! From all of the items above, sort out the one or two items that “jumped out at you” and really made you stop and think!
- Write down the one positive thing that gives you strength, courage and peace of mind.___________________________________________
- Write down the one negative thing that saps your strength, courage and peace of mind._____________________________________________
What you have done is create a destination code for where you want to go in this course. Also, you know which road leads to darkness and despair. From these two major items we will build a road map for your success and build on these feelings as we go forth.
The Feeling of Being Confident
*In this part of the program, I want you to describe what it feels like when you possess confidence or when there was a specific situation in which you reveled in confidence. If you can describe it and articulate it, it may help if you write those thoughts down on a piece of paper. I have given you some room to put your answer here: _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
*If you feel that you are extremely low in confidence or that you are unsure of what to put down, please write down someone you know personally that possesses those characteristics that you admire and could emulate. In essence, what qualities of this person do you admire that makes them appear confident?
Now that you have finished with your answers to these questions, I want you to underline the most important part that resonates with how you want to feel all the time or the section that you want to create (or re-create) going forward. (This will be a part of creating your personal mission statement that will be coming up later).