The Confidence Course
“Creating Your Reality One Thought at a Time”
Workbook
“Confidence is much like a heartbeat, without it, you don’t have much of a life” Dr. Bob Winters
Introduction
The “T N T” Effect – The Power of Belief
Once upon a time many years ago in the heart of Midwestern USA, lived a young boy with his parents and older brothers and sister. It could have been anyone’s family really, because this was your typical hard-working, middle-class family that was raised to honor and respect one another and to always treat other people fairly. The children were raised on simple values and moral and ethical integrity.
What was not typical was the culture and philosophy of this family. From a very early age, the young boy witnessed and heard his Father and Mother continually reminding them that they were different and that they had a special purpose in this life. Not that they felt they were any better than anyone else, but that they reinforced the feeling that whatever you wanted to achieve in your life, it could be yours…..but you would have to work for it and through personal perseverance, good things would turn up. But they also reminded them it wouldn’t always come easy for them. Good things take time to come about. But the notion of always believing in yourself was paramount to their parenting skills.
So as this young boy grew into a young man of seventeen and a senior in high school, he had achieved many things. He was well liked and had a number of good friends. But he was a bit different than everyone else. What made him different was that he was small. He was extremely small for his age and the tiniest person in his class of 140 students, boys and girls alike. Not that this was a problem mind you, because he was blessed with very capable motor skills and had a quickness that made him very good at a number of different sports.
But due to his size of which he was the smallest in his class, it also made him feel a bit different. Many times he would ask someone on a date only to be told “no” because he was a bit too short for them. Even when he was old enough to drive a car, he had to sit on pillows or a special cushion in order to see over the steering wheel and his feet could barely touch the brake and accelerator pedals. The constant reminder of him being so small created a sense of insecurity and uneasiness that caused him a great deal of internal anguish that he wouldn’t show or discuss with anyone.
But through it all, it did not stop him from thinking that he was capable of doing anything he wanted to do. The spirit that had been driven into him from an early age gave him the necessary coping skills to persevere and continue on. Via this determined spirit, he became very good at many individual sports, including golf. It was the game of golf that he would eventually thrive upon because you didn’t need to be overly tall or big in order to play it well. As he was playing his high school matches, many of his opponents would wonder how old he was and snicker at the diminutive size of this player. Often he was ridiculed and made fun of by other teams only to realize that his size and their bullying only made his resolve to defeat them even stronger. This leads us to his story of revelation into personal power.
One evening before the biggest match of his high school career, the young man sat down to his evening meal. His parents noticed that he wasn’t particularly talkative or hungry and they asked him if anything was wrong. He reassured them that there wasn’t and that he wanted to go to bed early that evening in order to get well rested for the big match the following day. What he didn’t mention was that the next day he was going to play against one of the state’s best players, who to his knowledge, hadn’t been beaten in head to head match play in years. He was an intimidating figure who could drive the ball prodigious lengths and looked ten years older than other boys his age due to his dark growth of facial hair.
As he was lying in bed that night filled with thoughts about what tomorrow might bring, a shadowy figure appeared into the room. As soon as he recognized the silhouette of his Mother, he took a deep breath and relaxed a bit. His Mother sat down on the bed and asked him if he was okay. The boy told his Mother that he was a bit apprehensive about tomorrow and that he really didn’t know what to expect, but in truth he was a bit afraid of being humiliated by this opposing golfer.
To which his Mother replied by whispering into his ear…..”I believe in you…..you will be great tomorrow because you have a strong heart.” And then she said something that resonated within him. She stated: “always remember that dynamite, TNT, comes in small packages.” She said it again so that he would not forget it. “Dynamite comes in small packages. Now you get some sleep now and go out there tomorrow and make a big bang!” To which she knelt down and kissed him goodnight on his forehead and left the room. The young man thought about what he was just told and couldn’t help but repeat that phrase over and over in his head “dynamite comes in small packages…go out and make a big noise!” After tossing and turning with the new message being bombarded into his conscious and subconscious mind, the young golfer fell asleep exhausted.
The next day on the first tee, they announced the final pairing which would pit the little golfer against the bigger and more formidable opponent. As they both approached the first tee, the stronger player looked at the young golfer and proclaimed: “this is the guy I have to play? He’s a midget….this won’t take long!” As the bigger golfer nailed his drive down the fairway and it was time for the small golfer to tee off, something happened to him as he placed his tee in the ground. Angered by what the other player had said about him, he experienced a voice inside of his head and remembered his Mother’s words….”Dynamite comes in small packages…go out and make a big noise!” As he was about to step into the ball and address and hit it, he felt a burning feeling was running throughout his body. A very warm feeling of energy was now flowing through his body that gave him a sense of calm and assurance. He thought to himself: “This is going to be my day. I will go out and make a big noise today!’” Armed with the words of wisdom and courage that his Mother had given him the night before, the young golfer hit his ball and set off to beat not only the golf course, but the insulting player that was three times his size. A true David and Goliath story if there ever was one!
As you probably have surmised by now, the young man who was small in stature defeated the bigger player. After the match was over, the veteran golfer who hadn’t known much defeat in over a couple of years, called the young man over to speak with him. Not being sure what this was all about, the young golfer was very nervous as he felt he was going to be beat up or something even worse!
The larger player said to him: “I just wanted to tell you that I couldn’t believe what you did out there today. I really learned a valuable lesson from you!” To which the young man thanked him for the nice words and walked away and realized that he had truly met a challenge and rose to the occasion and walked away a winner! As he stepped into the car to drive him home, he thought about what had transpired in the last 24 hours and realized that he would probably never be the same ever again. The realization that it isn’t the size of someone or their reputation that makes an opponent daunting…..but what we perceive in our minds is what makes the difference.
Knowing that the young golfer finally gave himself permission to believe in his talent allowed him the chance to know a great victory over a much more formidable opponent. As he closed his eyes and was drifting into a state of pleasant consciousness, he remembered the words that his Mother had said: “Go out and make a big noise!” Throughout his career, this player always remembered that dynamite does indeed come in small packages and that a reputation never defeated anyone….if you do not become intimidated by it.